Love and what it entails...

I've been thinking, what does it mean to love? I love my parents, and I love my grandma. So what did it mean? Is it expressed through action? Saying it? Or is it rather just a state of being? Coming from an Asian family, I was brought up with a strong sense of "honoring thy family," but I can't help but wonder if it is a completely accurate expression of love. If I love my parents, does that mean I should do what they desire and want for me? Does love mean subvert my own desires for someone else, even at the cost of my own happiness? Me thinks not. I remember my grandma told me that an ex-girlfriend of mine was no good. I listened to her reason why and I don't agree with her logic. I love my grandma, but do I take her advice? No. I think most people in this world confuse love with validation. We are insecure about someone's true feeling and motives so we seek to validate their love, whether through getting them to do what we want, saying "I love you" ten times a day, or making them think the same way we do. That's not love, that's about power and control. It may seem completely contradictory, but think about it for a second. Speaking of contradictory, would you believe that self pity is really a form of pride? Sounds like the opposite doesn't it? But by entertaining our bouts of self pity, saying "Oh, I can't believe I cheated on my boyfriend/girlfriend. I'm such a bad person," or something to that effect, we are essentially saying that we FELL from a higher plane of being, so perfect and blameless, into the mire of filth that everyone ELSE is in. The example above may seem a bit extreme, but it's only a matter of degrees, the principle and truth of the matter remains. Self pity draws attention to ourselves the easy way, without actually working for it. It is self dramatization. Self pity is a vicious cycle that must be cut. Someone once told me: "People get addicted to their struggle. It starts to define them." So true. Depression is a choice, I don't care how many reports of chemical imbalance you read. Who do you think funds the scientists writing the reports? Who benefits from you taking the Prozacs? It's time to take responsiblity of ourselves.