Deceiving to make a buck

No matter the industry, I am still surprised at the amount of bullshit and deception involved in making a buck. You got the bullshit "gurus" and snakeskin oil salesmen in martial arts/self defense community. You got them in the seduction community. Real estate, get rich quick and easy, without too much hard work or sacrifices. You got them everywhere. They're pervading, seeping inside the pores of our very being. Our society breathes and breeds them. I'm disgusted by this. I'm even more disgust at how I still fall for that same shtick. Maybe I'm too idealistic. I think it's easy to spin it as me not afraid to forrow my dream. Live the dream, man! But no, ideals must be balanced and tempered by wisdom. The truth is, I'm just gullible. I WANT to believe that someone discovered the secret formula. I WANT to be on the receiving end of the little known secrets, to set myself above the general population. I WANT to, mostly I think, deviate and disprove the conventional wisdoms I was brought up with. I don't care much about money, beyond paying my rent and food, but if I come across a way of making money contrary to how everyone is making it, then I'm all in. Greed? Laziness? Just plain Stupid? Probably guilty of all three. I actually believed I would actually retire at age 35. I'm sure it's possible, but it takes a lot more that I hoped for. In religion that type of secret knowledge is called "gnostics." Gnostics are the little secret, forbidden details not open to public. I'm sure that whomever knows the secret sure does feel special. Double goes for the ones seeking it. I'm guilty of that myself. I want to feel special. I want to posess these secret teaching. I want to delight in knowing the formula for sucess that everyone somehow all missed. That makes, and made, me (and all others like me. Yes there are MANY like me, we'd all like to think we're so special and unique, but we're really not) a prime target to all the scam artists and con men out there in the business. It's time to grow the fuck up. It's time to give up those childish ambitions and desires. I'm trimming the fat. I'm chipping away the superfluous part of the statue. I'm unblocking my flow to greatness. If anyone is wondering why in the world would I show how stupid I can be, then I'll tell you. I'm human. I'm not special. I'm not better than anyone. I just made good decisions in some aspect, and really dumb ones in other respects. Life is all about choices, and choices start with our thinking. Miyamoto Musashi said to not think dishonestly. That does not just mean not to be dishonest with other people. That means not to even be THINK dishonestly with ourselves. No more self deceptions. No more rationalizations. No more excuses. I think that's the way life is meant to be lived, ya?